Tears of the Renegade Page 17

  There were things to do, strategies to plan. “How badly will we be weakened?” she asked in a voice that was flatly calm.

  Preston’s arms dropped away completely, and he turned to drag a chair around so he could sit beside her at her desk. “Dangerously. He couldn’t have timed it better. At the moment, our cash flow is restricted because we’ve invested so heavily in projects that won’t begin paying for at least another year, possibly two years. You handled the paperwork on the laser project in Palo Alto, so you know how much we’ve sunk in that one project alone.”

  She did. “Then what about our personal assets? If we liquidate, we can raise enough money to cover the loan—”

  He was shaking his head to stop her, and he smiled wryly at her. “How do you think I raised the money to repay him for the money we used?”

  She sat back, stunned. How neatly Cord had boxed them into a corner! He must have been planning this all along. First he had threatened to bring charges against Preston for stealing, then he had sat back and done nothing, giving Preston time to replace the amount taken, knowing that Preston would have to stretch himself thin to cover that much at one time. He had maneuvered them like pieces on a chessboard.

  Still, she cast around for a solution. “Imogene and I can cover it. We have stocks we can sell, and property in prime locations—”

  “Susan, stop it,” he said gently. “Mother and I were both involved in using Cord’s money, and we both had to sacrifice to replace it. She’s stretched as thinly as I am, and you can’t handle this all on your own. You wouldn’t have anything left if you did.”

  Susan shrugged. The thought of being penniless didn’t bother her. “If we can hold on for a year, two years at the most, then the corporation would be safe. That’s what matters.”

  “Do you really think I’d let you sell off everything Vance gave you? From the moment he married you, he worked to make certain you’d always be comfortable, no matter what happened. He cherished you, and I won’t let you undo all of the things he did for you.”

  “If we can stay out of bankruptcy, everything can be replaced.”

  “Covering this loan won’t guarantee that. What if he buys up another one? He’s obviously got money behind him, enough money to destroy us if he wants to keep pushing. If he buys up another loan, we end up in the bankruptcy courts, even if you do sell everything you own to cover this one.”

  Preston’s logic was irrefutable, and she went cold to the bone. “Then there’s nothing we can do?”

  “I don’t know. We’re going to have to consider everything. The damnable part of it is, he has a stake in this corporation himself, and that isn’t stopping him. He’ll take that loss in order to get back at me. I can’t believe he went this far. I know he hates me, but this is…this is crazy!”

  It was unnerving to think of someone so determined, so ruthless, that he would go against his own best interests in his quest for revenge. He was tightening the screws, pushing, enjoying tormenting Preston. He’d said that he wanted to make the other man squirm. He might have reason enough for the way he felt; she could only guess at the hellholes he’d been in since he’d been turned away by his family, though she had seen the marks they had left on his body. But no matter what the past had been, it was time the senseless hurting was ended. It had gone on long enough, tearing families apart, creating bitter enemies of the same blood. She wanted to take Cord by the neck and shake him until he’d regained his senses, and for a moment she could almost smile at the image of herself shaking someone who was almost a foot taller than she was, and who outweighed her by about a hundred pounds.

  She was exhausted when she went home that day. They had spent the hours poring over financial statements, marshalling their forces to meet this challenge. Preston was a superb corporate tactician, but she’d never before realized the extent of his subtlety and expertise. He knew exactly how much they could sacrifice without dealing themselves a mortal blow, and he’d set the wheels in motion to liquidate the assets he thought the corporation could spare.

  She was late getting home, but Emily was waiting for her with a hot meal, which the older woman made certain she consumed. Somehow, Emily always knew when Susan was tired or depressed, and she would dispense an extra measure of coddling, but not all her tender concern could erase the tension from Susan’s face that night. Thinking that all of her nights out with Cord might be tiring Susan out, Emily asked, “Are you going out with Cord again tonight?”

  Susan started at hearing the name that had been reverberating in her thoughts. “Oh…I don’t know. He said he might be over later tonight. He had to drive to New Orleans to take care of some business.” She felt sick at the thought. What sort of business? Finding another nail to drive into the coffin of Blackstone Corporation?

  “Well, I think you need to get more sleep then you’ve had this past week,” Emily scolded. “You look like a dishrag. Send him home early if he does come over.”

  Somehow, Susan managed a smile for the woman, grateful for her concern. “Yes, I will.” She loved him, but right now she couldn’t be with him. She had the feeling that if she looked over her shoulder, she’d be able to see the handle of the knife that was sticking in her back.

  Perhaps he wouldn’t come. She hoped he wouldn’t. She was too tired, too hurt, too raw from the knowledge of his betrayal. But why kid herself? He wouldn’t see it as a betrayal, because he’d never promised her anything. All he had given her was the coin of physical passion, not a hint of commitment beyond the moment.

  She hoped he wouldn’t come, yet she wasn’t surprised later that night to hear the rumble of the red Blazer that he used for his casual driving. She’d begun to think that she was safe for the night; it was after nine o’clock, and she’d been thinking about taking her bath and going to bed. But now he was here, and she stood in the den, her heart beginning to pound in apprehension. She felt sick; her hands were cold and clammy, and she pressed them against her skirt. How could she face him? Why couldn’t he have waited until tomorrow, when she might be calmer?

  The doorbell rang, but still she stood rigidly in the middle of the floor, unable to force her legs to move. Cold dread rippled down her spine. Seconds ticked past, and the doorbell began an insistent peal as he jammed his finger onto it and held it there. It wasn’t until he began to pound on the door with enough force to rattle it on its hinges that she managed to move, her legs shaking. She crept into the foyer and released the bolt on the door.

  The door crashed open under the impact of his fist, narrowly missing knocking her down. Cord loomed over her, his face dark and savage. He seized her by the arms, his fingers biting into her soft flesh. “Are you all right?” he bit out. “The lights were on, but when you didn’t answer the door I thought something must be wrong. I was going to go around and break out the glass in the sliding doors—” He never finished the sentence, instead pulling her to him with one iron arm locked around her waist, his other hand cupping her chin and turning her face up to him. He bent his head and his mouth closed over hers, hard, hungrily, and for a moment she forgot everything. She was swamped by the exciting maleness of his scent, the coffee taste of his mouth. She clung to him, her fingers digging into the heavy muscles of his back as she rose on tiptoe to fit herself to him.

  His desire rose swiftly, launched from the perfect condition of his superb body. Before she could think, he had lifted her off her feet and started up the stairs, after kicking the door shut. Feeling the last vestiges of control slipping away from her, Susan freed her mouth from his and gasped, “Wait! I don’t—”

  He caught her mouth again, his tongue plunging deep inside, stifling her desperate words as he placed her on the bed. If he had released her then, stepping back to remove his clothes, she might have had a chance, but he stayed with her. He covered her, his mouth taking hers with hard, deep kisses, while his hands delved under her skirt and peeled away her underwear. Stunned by his urgency, after a moment she forgot about the rift between them and h
eld tightly to his neck, her slender body arching to him as he parted her thighs and fit himself between them. He paused a moment to adjust his clothing and insure her protection, then thrust deeply into her, the impact of his body making her jerk.

  She wasn’t the only one taken by surprise by his urgency. Cord had been unpleasantly surprised by the desperation that had knotted his stomach when she hadn’t answered the door, and he’d had a vision of her sprawled lifeless at the foot of the stairs. Or someone could have broken in on her, and raped her before killing her. That last thought had made the hair on the back of his neck lift up, and he had been snarling silently as he pounded on the door. Then it had opened and she’d stood there, pale and silent, but obviously healthy, and his desire had bloomed with his relief. He had to have her right then, bury himself in her and satisfy his body as well as his mind that she was still there, still healthy, and still his. The taste of her, the silken feel of her under his hands, the intimate clasp of her body, were all that could drive the fear from his mind. He luxuriated in his possession of her, feeling her response building and the tension in her growing tighter, and the knowledge that she wanted him, that he could satisfy her, was a pleasure as great as that he was taking from her soft flesh.

  Susan heard the soft little whimpers in the back of her throat, but she was powerless to stop them, powerless to control her body. She reached blindly for satisfaction, her fingers clenched in his hair, her body arching up to meet his. He was crushing her, yet she didn’t feel his weight; his heavy shoulders and chest were holding her down, yet she was soaring high and free, everything forgotten except for this moment in time. She was completely physical, yielding to his rampant masculinity and demanding that he give her all of himself.

  He caught her legs, pulling them high to coil them around his back, and the whimpers turned into sharp, breathless cries. Deliberately he paced his movements, keeping her on the edge but not allowing her to go over it, not wanting the act to end. His strong hands on her hips controlled her, guided her, held her when she would have taken over the rhythm he’d set. She clenched her teeth on the agony of pleasure that boiled in her; then suddenly it was too much to be held in, and she heard the words of love that she gasped, the words that she’d always longed to say but had held inside.

  A rumble in his chest and the tightening of his hands on her flesh signaled the end of his control, and he began to thrust hungrily into her. Instantly an incredible heat exploded inside her, washing through her with ever-widening waves, making her shudder beneath him. She sank her teeth into his shoulder in an effort to control the sounds she was making, and the primitive, sensual act pushed him over the edge. Short, harsh cries tore from his throat as his satisfaction thundered through him, and he clasped her to him with a wild strength that made her gasp for breath, as if he could meld her flesh with his for all time. When he’d finished, he slowly relaxed until he lay limply on her, his body still quivering with small aftershocks. She smoothed his sweat-damp hair, her fingers gentle on his moist temple. His hot breath seared her throat, and she felt the flutter of his eyelashes against her skin as he began to doze.

  But he lay there for only a moment before rousing himself and gently moving from her. He rolled heavily onto his back and lay there, one brawny forearm thrown over his eyes.

  Susan lay beside him, tension and dread growing in her again now that the appetites of her body had been satisfied. She should never have let that happen, not tonight, not when she had so much on her mind. And she had told him that she loved him. He couldn’t have misunderstood her; it seemed to her that the words still lingered in the air, echoing with ghostly insistence. Would he say anything, or would he just ignore what she’d said? He hadn’t asked for any commitment from her any more than he’d offered one. He probably wasn’t even surprised; it couldn’t be the first time that a woman in his arms had cried out that she loved him.

  Caught in her misery, she was only half-aware when he left the bed. The sound of running water caught her attention, and she opened her eyes to look at him through the open door of the bathroom as he stood drinking deeply from a glass of water. His strong brown throat worked as he appeased his thirst. He’d already straightened his clothing, she saw, and her hands clenched into fists. He’d be leaving now that his sexual appetite had been satisfied.

  He came back and stood over her, his level dark brows lowered over eyes so pale and fierce that she almost flinched from them. “You scared the hell out of me,” he said flatly. “Why didn’t you answer the door?”

  Restlessly, she sat up, and flushed wildly when she saw that her skirt was still tangled above her waist. Quickly she fumbled with the cloth, straightening it and pushing it down to cover her nakedness, an act that sparked a flash of fury in his eyes. But when she darted a glance up at him, she saw only the same iron implacability that had been there before as he waited for an answer. Pushing her tumbled hair back from her face, she said in a dull tone, “You bought up a loan against us and called it in.”

  Silence lay thickly between them for a long moment; then he sliced it by saying harshly, “You’re not involved in that.”

  A laugh broke from her throat, a laugh that was almost a sob, and she got quickly to her feet, leaving the bed where she had given herself to him so thoroughly. For a moment she feared her legs wouldn’t hold her, but after an initial wobble she regained control of them and moved a few paces away from him. “I have to be. You know that everything is tied together. If you attack them financially, you’re attacking me financially. If you bankrupt them, you bankrupt me.”

  “You don’t have anything to worry about. I’ll take care of you.”

  The cool arrogance of his words almost made her choke, and she whirled on him in disbelief. “Is that supposed to make it all right? You’ll reduce me to a…a kept woman, and I’m supposed to be grateful?”

  One dark eyebrow quirked. “I don’t see your problem,” he said, and added with casual cruelty, “after all, you said that you love me.”

  She winced, unable to believe he’d attacked her so soon, even though she’d put the weapon in his hand. Suddenly she was too close to him, and she put the width of the room between them, withdrawing from him as far as she could. She bent her head, unable to look at him and face the contemptuous knowledge that she knew must be in his eyes. “Would you…would you actually push us all into bankruptcy just to get back at Preston? Even knowing that a lot of other people are involved, that they’d lose their jobs?”

  “Yes.” His voice was hard, as hard as he was, and the last vestige of hope died in her. Until then there had been one small shred of faith left; she had been able to hope that he was only punishing Preston and would stop before things went too far.

  “You’d be hurting yourself!” she cried. “How can you do this?”

  He gave a negligent shrug. “I’ve got other things to fall back on.”

  She’d begged before, with no result, but now she was reduced to doing it again. “Cord, stop this! Please! Don’t push it until it’s gone too far. When will you be satisfied? After you’ve ruined us all, then what? Will it have brought Judith back for you?”

  His face turned into stone, and his eyes narrowed. Wildly, goaded by her own pain, she lashed out at him, sensing that she’d found a way to wound him. “You’re just trying to ease your own guilt about Judith, because of your part in what happened to her—”

  With a growl he strode across the room, seizing her before she could dart to the side and avoid him. His hands bit into her shoulders and he shook her lightly. “Shut up about Judith! I made a mistake in telling you about her, but you’ll be making an even bigger one if you ever mention her to me again. For the last time, stay out of this.”

  “I can’t. I’m already in it.” She stared up at him with eyes so huge that they eclipsed her entire face, eyes so filled with pain that any other woman would have been weeping uncontrollably. They were going to destroy each other, Cord and Preston, and she was helpless to stop it. T
here could be no winners in this family war, because when the bond of common blood goes bad, it causes a rift that can never be healed. She saw the chasm that was already widening between herself and Cord, and she wanted to scream out in desperate protest, but there was nothing she could do. She held herself rigidly in his painful grip, trying to control the shrieking agony that was tearing her heart apart.

  His grasp on her eased, and he stroked his thumbs over the fragile ridges of her collarbones. “You’re too soft for this,” he murmured to himself; then he eased her back into his embrace, shifting his arms to hold her against him. She was silent, letting herself rest against him because she hadn’t the strength to deny herself what she feared might be the last time he’d hold her like this. He bent his head to press his warm lips into the sensitive curve where her neck met her shoulder, and a delicious shiver ran over her body. Just like that, with only a casual caress, he was able to make her want him again. She loved him too much, too dangerously, because she could hold nothing of herself back. There was no way she could protect herself.

  “Don’t go back to work,” he instructed softly, brushing his lips against her hair. “Stay at home, and stay out of this. Vance left you secure, and whatever happens to Preston won’t affect you at all.” His big hands stroked slowly over her back and shoulders, their effect on her hypnotic. “You said that you love me; if you do, you won’t take his side against me.”

  For a moment, for a weak, delicious moment, she wanted nothing more than to do just as he said, to let his hard embrace protect her and make her forget all other considerations. Then she stiffened and slowly pushed herself away from him, her face taut and pale.

  “Yes, I love you,” she said quietly, because there was no use in trying to hide it from him any longer. How could she deny it, when her body told him the truth every time he touched her? “But I have to do whatever I can to stop you from bankrupting the family.”